Banishing Burnout: Reduce Dementia Caregiver Stress Today
Caring for a loved one with dementia can be an immensely satisfying and also immensely stressful experience.
Most caregivers take great pride in the fact that they are able to provide love and care for their parent or partner during a time of need. But at the same time, that pride is tinged with sadness and perhaps frustration as they grieve the loss of what might have been had their parent or partner not become ill. This can be complicated for caregivers in the ‘sandwich generation’ - those who are providing care to a parent while juggling the caregiving responsibilities of their own children and family and often a paid job as well.
For some caregivers, the anxiety and frustration can feel overwhelming at times. However, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many others who have navigated this path before you with success and you are surrounded by friends and family who love you and want to support you.
In this blog post, we will discuss some of the ways that caregivers can manage their stress levels while caring for a loved one with dementia.
Is caring for someone with dementia stressful?
Yes, caring for someone with dementia can be very stressful. It requires a lot of dedication and patience as the person may require round-the-clock care and supervision. Dementia can cause changes in behavior that make it difficult to communicate and understand what is happening. In addition, people living with dementia often need help with daily activities such as eating, bathing, and managing medications. Caring for a loved one with dementia can be emotionally draining and require a great deal of emotional support. It is important to take care of yourself while caring for someone with dementia so that you are able to manage your own stress levels.
Signs of Caregiver Burnout
You need to know the signs of caregiver stress and burnout. Take this quick quiz as a first step. Check each one that applies to you:
I’m tired or exhausted a lot of the time.
I’m having trouble sleeping (too little or too much, bad dreams, waking up at night).
I’m not eating a healthy diet.
I’m not exercising as much as I should.
I feel anxious or depressed.
I’m often sad, irritable, angry or easily upset.
I worry a lot or I feel overwhelmed.
It seems like I’m being pulled in several directions at once.
I’m having trouble concentrating, or I’m forgetful.
I’ve lost interest in socializing and my usual hobbies.
I hardly ever take time out for myself.
I get sick more often than I used to, and illnesses seem to last longer.
I’ve developed health problems (high blood pressure, bodily pain, headaches).
I’m panicked about the cost of dementia care for my loved one.
I’m using alcohol or drugs (including prescription medications) excessively.
I’m not keeping up with my own medical appointments, screening tests, or vaccinations.
The more checkmarks, the greater the need to make a change. You may need to call on other family members, explore community resources or hire professional assistance. The team at Choice Dementia Services is here for you.
It was hard when my dad, Gerald, was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It seemed like he was losing his mind little by little. First, it was just forgetfulness – forgetting where his glasses were or what he had just said. But then it started getting worse. Gerald started to forget names and places and couldn't place who the people around him were. He would get lost in his own home and end up shouting and angry as he thought we were playing tricks on him by moving things around.
I was exhausted from trying to take care of him all the time and my stress levels were through the roof. I ended up irritable with my family and my husband and kids really took the brunt. Our home was not a happy place for any of us.
But then I joined a caregiver support group through the Alzheimer’s Association and things changed for the better. The other family caregivers in the group helped me to see that I wasn't alone in this and they shared their tips and their experiences. Having people to talk to who understood the challenges I was facing, helped me to lower my chronic stress levels, which made a huge difference in my life. Now, I'm actually happy again – thanks to this supportive group of family caregivers!
Now as Gerald needs more personal care, we are getting ready to bring a professional caregiver, who specializes in Alzheimer’s and related dementia care. I am not sure I would have sought out this kind of help had I not already experienced how much better life is for all of us when we reduce stress in the home and keep things simple. I’m excited to have an extra set of hands at home and the support of a professional.
Five Symptoms of Caregiver Stress
Let's start by looking at some of the symptoms of caregiver stress and some suggestions on what to do if you are feeling overwhelmed.
Do you feel like this?
Feeling isolated and alone
One of the most common complaints of caregivers is feeling isolated and alone. The caregiving role can be very isolating, especially if you do not have a strong support system.
Why not try this?
Reach out to a friend:
Sometimes taking a small action, as small as calling a friend for a coffee or a chat, can make a big difference in how you feel. Taking that first step in opening up to someone can help you feel much less isolated.
Feeling exhausted or overworked:
When caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or a related dementia, it is easy to feel like you are in over your head. The constant demands of the caregiving role can leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.
Outsource a part of your workload:
You may not feel ready to get help in direct care for your loved one, but you can certainly get household help for tasks like housekeeping, grocery shopping, or repairs.
And if you do find you need more respite care, bringing in a care specialist during the day who can care for your loved one will allow you to get out
Experiencing mood swings, tired or irritable:
The chronic stress of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or related dementia can often lead to mood swings and changes in your sleeping patterns. In addition, it is not unusual for your loved one with dementia to experience intermittent sleep disturbance patterns, which can also disrupt your sleep as you are up through the night attending to their needs.
Get more sleep:
Sleep is a critical restorative process for our physical and mental health. Work with other family members to stagger care for your loved one so that everyone is getting enough sleep.
If this is not practical or possible, bring in professional help. Nighttime respite care can stay awake while you sleep. You absolutely need your sleep in order to provide the level of care your loved one needs.
The guilt of acting out in anger towards your loved one:
It is important to remember that caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or related dementia can be emotionally draining.
You may find yourself behaving poorly, acting with more aggression than normal or even taking it out on your loved one.
Talk it out:
If you find yourself acting out in anger or aggression towards your loved one, it is important to seek immediate help. This is not an appropriate way to cope with caregiver stress.
A support group like the Alzheimer’s Association, therapist or even your family doctor can provide support. This is a sign that you need a professional caregiving intervention.
Neglecting self-care, your own physical and mental health or well-being:
It is also important to remember to take care of yourself (self-care) while you are caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or a related dementia. It is easy to neglect your own physical health when you are focused on taking care of someone else.
Get back to basics:
It is important to make sure that you are eating healthy meals, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.
Walk with a friend, get out to the gym, dance in front of the TV or get out in the yard for some simple exercise. You will feel better for it.
How to Combat Caregiver Stress
Now that we have looked at some of the symptoms of Caregiver Stress, let's look at some of the techniques you can use to combat it.
Seek Out Support from Family Members:
One of the best ways to manage chronic stress is to seek out support from others who are in similar situations. There are many support groups available for caregivers of Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. These groups can provide you with valuable information and emotional support. Often, simply knowing that you are not alone in this experience can help reduce your stress levels significantly.
Take Time for Yourself:
It is also important to make sure that you take time for yourself. Being a caregiver can be all-consuming, but it is important to remember to schedule some “me” time into your day.
Take Care of Your Physical and Mental Health:
Whether it’s taking a yoga class, going for a walk, or reading your favorite book, taking some time out for yourself will help you recharge and feel better equipped to handle the stresses of caregiving. When we talk about “you time” that means walking by yourself taking a yoga class by yourself I say this because I know some of you will say I do those things right along with my loved one.
Be Realistic:
Another important thing to remember is to be realistic in your expectations you must remember that your loved one cannot meet you in your time, you must meet them in there’s. Dementia is a progressive condition, and there will likely be good days and bad days. It is important to set realistic goals so that you don’t become overwhelmed by trying to do too much or by asking too much of your loved one. Setting routines is a great help and both you and your loved one will both get benefit from the rhythm after a few weeks.
Ask for Help:
Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Many people are hesitant to ask for help because they feel like they should be able to handle everything on their own, yes, anyone can do anything for about a year but you are looking at a disease that may last 10 years. However, it’s important to remember that there is no shame in asking for help when you need it. Whether it’s asking a friend or family member to watch your loved one for a few hours so that you can take a break or hiring outside help to come in a few days per week, giving yourself a break will ultimately make you a better caregiver.
What Resources are Available for Dementia Caregivers?
According to the Alzheimer's Society, more than half a million Canadians are living with Alzheimer's or a related dementia. That number is expected to rise to close to 1 million by 2030. There are many resources available to help you navigate this new role.
Alzheimer’s Society of British Columbia
We ensure people affected by dementia are not alone, by educating and mobilizing a broader community of care around them, and supporting valuable research into the disease and people living with it.
Whether you want to learn more about the programs and services we offer, or find dementia-related information specific to your needs, the Alzheimer Society has the education and resources to help you.
First Link Dementia Support
https://alzheimer.ca/bc/en/help-support/find-support-bc
If you are living with dementia, connecting to First Link means you’ll receive the support you need when you need it – through bulletins, support groups, education and one-on-one phone calls. Our regional resource centres are available around the province of B.C and can connect you to First Link® dementia support.
Local Support Groups
There are also many local support groups available across the country. These groups provide an opportunity to meet other caregivers and learn from each other's experiences.
For those who are unable to attend a support group in person, the tele-support group offers the opportunity to meet with others by phone.
Health Care Practitioner
You can also ask your doctor or local hospital for recommendations. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. With the right resources, you can provide the best possible care for your loved one with dementia.
Professional Dementia Specialist Care
At Choice Dementia Services, we know that caring for someone with dementia can be difficult, so we have a team of compassionate and experienced caregivers to help ease the challenges that you face.
Our caregivers are available 24/7, 365 days a year. They provide quality care in the comfort of your own home. You’ll receive personalized service from our team of trained professionals who will work closely with you and your family member to ensure they receive the best possible care.
With Choice Dementia Services, you have access to round-the-clock assistance without having to move them into an unfamiliar environment away from friends and family members who love them dearly. Let us take some of the stress off your shoulders by providing high-quality memory care right in their own homes!
My Story
Finally, let me share with you my story of how I experienced and dealt with family caregiver stress when providing care to my dad after his dementia diagnosis.
I grew up with dementia in the family - although back then, we didn’t call it dementia or Alzheimer’s or any thing like that. It was just what happened as people aged. My mom was the family caregiver for both of my grandmothers because that is what families did. When my dad started showing signs of memory loss, I don’t think anyone in the family was too worried because we had seen it all before.
At first, it was little things - things he had found easy were suddenly hard, like public transit. Then it became a bit more serious … I can remember one time after he had a fall, he wasn’t sure where he was or how he had gotten there. He was afraid of getting help because he didn’t know who the people helping him were.
When it got serious enough, my brother took him in for a doctors appointment and we got the formal diagnosis of dementia. That was hard, but we did what we always do as a family and focused on practical solutions.
Things got really serious when my dad’s physical health starting failing along with his mental health. He had prostrate cancer and ended up with some serious dehydration issues which put him in the hospital. His mental decline combined with his physical challenges meant he lost the ability to walk and talk - which, understandably, made him angry. He lashed out at the caregivers and ended up in restraints. All of this happened so quickly, no one in the family, had time to react and he suffered. My mom meanwhile had her own health issues going on and the role of caregiver at home was no longer possible for her.
It took a long time and a lot of family intervention to get his physical health back on track but sadly, his dementia had fully kicked in at this point and he needed to stay in a care facility. My husband and I spent countless weekends travelling back and forth from our home town to his taking him on outings and encouraging him to build on old memories and form new ones and to get him comfortable and happy again. I built a new and different relationship with my dad and I will always treasure that time with him.
It was during this time that I started looking for help. I wanted to find a caregiver (or better yet a caregiver team) that could provide him the care and support that he just wasn’t getting at the facility with the idea, that once his physical health was better - we could bring him home. I wanted someone who would provide companionship, who would talk with him, who could monitor the small behavioural changes we saw and help him be less agitated, who could take the time to build memory cues with him and get him back to his old routines. I wanted someone who specialized in dementia care because it is so complex. But that care just didn’t exist and thus, the idea for Choice Dementia Services was born.
I could see the gap in our health care system where doctors and nurses are focused on getting people back to a baseline but not really back to full health. I could see how many home care services provide wonderful basic care but don’t really understand the special needs of people living with dementia. I could see how families were breaking down (and sometimes apart) because of the incredible stress that is placed on family members and how the complexities of modern living with work, and travel and distance were all getting in the way of care.
So, if this is you … if you are experiencing the chronic stress of caring for a loved one with dementia - know that I understand your situation, because it was once my situation too. But also know - that I and my team are here for you.
Caring for a loved one with dementia can be an incredibly difficult and stressful experience. However, by seeking out support, taking time for yourself, being realistic in your expectations, and asking for help when needed, you can ease some of the challenges and manage the stress of caregiving more effectively.
Do You Need Help at Home for Your Loved One with Dementia?
Choice Dementia Services has been providing high-quality, compassionate in-home care to seniors diagnosed with dementia and their families since 2016. Our team of caregivers is dedicated to helping you live happier, healthier lives at home. We are trained professionals who are ready to help with any task from housekeeping and meal prep to personal hygiene and transportation. And we offer 24/7 emergency support and respite care and always put your loved ones first.
You can trust us with your loved ones because we understand the importance of creating a safe environment where they feel comfortable living. We know that every person has unique needs – which is why we customize each care plan based on what matters most to them and you so they can stay true to themselves as long as possible without sacrificing quality of life along the way. Whether it’s getting groceries delivered right outside their door or having someone come by twice a week for an afternoon chat, Choice Dementia Services will make sure your loved one feels happy and cared for at all times during their time with us.